We are Motherhood: Ashleigh’s Story: What I wish my Husband Knew

The 6 things I wish my husband understood about my depression

by Ashleigh 

“Husbands: you are what hold your wife together. Be her duct tape.”

My husband is one of those science guys. He loves to break things and make things run more efficiently. The way his face lights up when he builds Legos with our sons is remarkable. The few things he doesn’t quite always grasp is my emotions and my struggles.

“Being parents is hard; super hard. Being a Mama with PPD is just an added struggle. Don’t do it alone; talk to your husbands and let them know what they can do for you.”

My husband has enough going on that I don’t expect him to understand everything but these few things are so significant:

1.  Sleep is important. I must sleep to be the best I can be for our boys. Even if it’s the extra few hours in the morning or going to bed extra early. It isn’t that I don’t want to watch TV with you and cuddle. If I don’t get sleep; my patience and my sadness take over the whole day.

2. I put myself last; all day every day. I’m not complaining. I love my family; I love taking care of them. Sometimes I just need to be reminded I’m not everyone’s maid and nanny.

“My depression is something I’m working through. It’s a part of who I am; But it doesn’t consume me. I won’t let it. Know that I am trying constantly.”

3. My depression is something I’m working through. It’s a part of who I am; But it doesn’t consume me. I won’t let it. Know that I am trying constantly.

4. I need you to connect with me through the day. I love when you reach out to me to just talk about nothing. Ask me about my day; remind me I’m beautiful, and tell me you want me; not just need me.

5. When I am behind in my duties; it’s not because I didn’t want to do the seven loads of laundry it was that I couldn’t. Help me sometimes with the chores if you see I need it.

6. Mostly. I want you to remember this: You are the best part of me. None of this is because of you. It’s my hormones. It’s no one’s fault. You are incredible and I can’t imagine this life without you. We will survive this time. We will be stronger. Thank you for being on this path with me.

Being parents is hard; super hard. Being a Mama with PPD is just an added struggle. Don’t do it alone; talk to your husbands and let them know what they can do for you. I know just the little change and the little support has made our life so much more manageable.

Husbands: you are what hold your wife together. Be her duct tape. Hold her hand and tell her you will fight together.

Break the stigma!

Break the silence!

Stand up to PPD!

(You can buy this shirt here and support a great cause.)

About the author: Ashleigh is a fun loving mama to two boys, wife to one amazing man, and owner of a small business Hudson Lillian Designs where she creates amazing custom tees. You can find her roaming the beaches of Cali or on instagram and facebook spreading the love and the message of PPD awareness with her latest project: After the Storm. 

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Think you or someone you know may be struggling with postpartum depression, anxiety, or another mental health disorder? Please contact your health provider including your OBGYN or family doctor. Need more information? Visit Postpartum Support International for great information on maternal mental health and more. If you fear you or someone you love may be contemplating suicide or facing a mental health emergency, call the Suicide Prevention Hotline and get to your nearest emergency room. Please consider buying a PPD Awareness t-shirt, all proceeds go to help mothers in need. Have questions or need support please join the discussion on Facebook.