Monday Musings: Why I Don’t Unfriend People with Different Views
I’ve got to be honest, I use the “unfollow” option on Facebook, a lot. It’s my friend (no pun intended;). But, I rarely unfriend people and here’s why.
We don’t all agree. And, you want to know what? I don’t care. I shop at Target, you shop at Walmart. I delay or defer vaccinations. You get them on schedule. You breastfed all your babies until they were three. I did not. I voted in the last election. You did not. You don’t appreciate chick fil a milk shakes, I do and I’ll have it with a side of Starbucks latte. But, you know what? It doesn’t matter. If you see me post something political, moral, or even parenting related and you don’t agree? Make a comment, keep scrolling, or unfollow me. I’ll do the same. And, we’ll all be happier. Because, I really don’t care if you agree with me.
You know why? Because, I’m right. Why do I think I’m right??? Because, I wouldn’t be defending my beliefs, views, or opinions so vehemently if I thought I was wrong or maybe just kinda right. No. I think I’m right. (As relates to parenting and shopping decisions- I actually don’t think either of us is right- those are all about what’s best for the individual family.) Occasionally I change my mind (I mean I used to live in acrylic nails and swim in Diet Coke- eeek). But, generally speaking I’m going to consistently voice my opinions and think I’m right. I expect you do the same.
So, when you’re scrolling through Facebook and you see someone with a differing opinion than you: you may think they’re wrong, you may think their logic sucks, you may think they’re a down right idiot. But, who cares, get over it because here’s what: they think they’re right too. And, if we all hated each other just because we’re right and they’re wrong, well that’s just a lot of hate. And, I don’t know about you- but I just ain’t got time for that.
And, that is why I don’t unfriend people over differing opinions. I comment, unfollow, or keep on scrolling.
And, now back to your regularly scheduled dose of fashion: it’s raining it’s pouring- okay it was doing neither but here’s another look at the all-day coat because hello- I love it! And that’s an opinion we can all agree on.
Coat: Betabrand by Melissa Fleis
Dress: Old, similar
I’ve always felt people who unfriend for these reasons pretty immature -and especially those that feel the need to make a ragging post about unfriending people for opinions. Plus i feel it’s kind of presumptuous…as if the whole world is clamoring to be friends with this person on Facebook and now the person they unfriended is missing out ?, really?!
Yes!!! I totally agree. I never understood the “cleaning out my friends list” posts. But, it’s really c’este la vie- if unfriending is their thing- more power to them right??? ?
‘Ain’t nobody got time for that!!’
My friend. Live fully in all that you believe and those of us who do the same can choose to sit beside you in a calm understanding. We can know that there is much more to our world than our disagreements. Although raising and guiding our children together will prove challenging at times, it will also provide a profound understanding that different doesn’t equal hatred – there is no better lesson for the new generation.
If you only stayed friends with people who have the same opinions as you how would you ever be able to see things in a different light? How would you be able to grow and challenge each other to consider different options? I value other points of view because they give me perspective and allow me to learn and make decisions on whether to stay the course or try a slightly different path. If someone has a view that manages to infuriate me I move on. Maybe I’ll vent to my friend or partner in an effort to deal with my own emotions, but ultimately it’s that person’s view and who am I to say that only my way is the right way?
I agree! As long as mutual respect is there, why unfriend or remove people from your life? You can potentially both grow from the relationship!
@Megan, So perfectly stated!!
“I value other points of view because they give me perspective and allow me to learn and make decisions on whether to stay the course or try a slightly different path.”
One of my favorite writers, G.K. Chesterton, had a great ability to be friends with people he vehemently disagreed with on serious moral issues. He was a defender of the weak and vulnerable but was good friends with George Bernard Shaw who was a eugenicist who wanted to eliminate the weak. I pray for that ability. There are some views (Third Reich killing Jews, ISIS killing Christians, abortionists killing babies in the womb) that are so abhorrent it’s hard to be friends with those who defend them. I pray for the ability to love them despite their hateful views. God does.
I find that staying “friends” even with those I strongly disagree with is a good exercise in patience for me and exposure for them. The only reason I see to unfriend someone even with completely horrible views would be if they were disrespectful and hateful. I try to remain kind in my communications which is why I use the “unfollow” button if I feel like that would be a challenge. And, I don’t mind a little healthy debate- I find it defending my beliefs does nothing but strengthens my resolve that I am indeed right!
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